While in in the shelter my case worker told me I needed to grieve. That was the last think I wanted to do at that point in time. I definitely felt an immense sense of loss, but it was overwhelmed by the freedom I felt. I’m not sure I ever took time to mourn the loss of marriage. Until last night.
I cried myself to sleep last night
I allowed myself to grieve
The space inside won the fight
That which was suppressed broke free
Do not find glee or joy from this fact
It was not for you that I mourned
But the loss of that onto which I held
For way to long
Any love once there died long ago
What it actually looked like
I don’t really know
But such a large part of my life
At one time even hopes and dreams
Were tangled up involving you
And that just doesn’t go away it seems
Your life moved on and yet here I sit
Not once having regretted my choice
For it was when I stepped out of your darkness
That I discovered my voice
When I awoke this morning
It seemed hope had bled through
I’m blessed and grateful for all I’ve been given
I need not shed another tear for you